


Mirror, Mirror on the wall

by Merenwen76



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Jared Padalecki, Fluff and Angst, J2 ReverseBang 2019, M/M, Mystery, Oral Sex, Rimming, Top Jensen Ackles, ghost - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-29 14:37:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21411805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merenwen76/pseuds/Merenwen76
Summary: Jared found an old mirror in a junk shop and thought it would do for this bathroom. But he keeps seeing another face reflected there… Is it haunted? Or perhaps it’s trapped some old memories in the glass? Who knows…
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 41
Kudos: 185
Collections: J2 Reverse Bang





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the J2 ReverseBang challenge.  
Artwork by Amberdreams  
Link to Art: [Here ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21422842).
> 
> This story means a lot to me. Chronologically this is my first J2 Reverse Bang Story. I saw the picture and the promt of amberdreams and was in love. The story lived in my mind's eye. I know it may be a bit confused at first, but please give the story a chance, everything will clear up. 
> 
> As always and from the bottom of my heart, my thanks to Jerzcaligrl. For the great beta work and for her kind words.

[](https://ibb.co/bzg0LD0) Long legs are flying over the asphalt. Sweat is running down his neck. He listens to his breathing and watches the houses he passing by. The rain gets stronger. Jared stops and looks up to the sky. It seems to never stop raining these days. Autumn paints the trees in shades of brown and the sky is gray with heavy clouds. He sighs and massages his temples. This weather makes his headache come back. He crosses Sapphire street, watched out for the broken traffic light and turn left into Tiara Trail.

He is undecided whether to run back to his house or follow the road down to San Isidro Park. He planned to go there with Sadie and Harley, but this weather is just no fun, not for him, not for his four-legged friends. He was already turning when he saw the old wooden house. The sign above the entrance door caught his attention. 

„Storage of memories.“ 

What a wonderful description for junk nobody wants to buy. The open sign and the strongly blowing wind make his decision easier. He trots across the street, taking the wooden steps and entering the shop. A classic bell announces him as a new customer. He walks along the shelves which are loaded with old cassettes and cds. 

A Sony Walkman. The blue foam of the earphones is brittle. A View-Master, typical red with two reels „Age of Dinosaurs“. Right next to a Fisher Price medical kit . A smile crosses Jared's face. It’s like going back to his childhood. He nearly falls over a box full of toys blocking his way. He can spot at least 3 teenage mutant ninja turtles figures and knows them all by name immediately . A worn teddy bear underneath all this stuff brings back more memories as he remembers his first teddy and how he loved him, taking him everywhere with him. He is about to go to fetch the bear when he hears a soft voice behind him. „Can I help you?“

He turns around to see an old lady watching him with peaceful eyes. „Hi, no I was just looking and wow your shop name really is perfect. I feel like I'm five again.“ He smiles at her.

„Take your time honey, I’ll be here for you. Would you like a cup of tea?“ 

Gosh the woman herself reminds him of his own grandma.

He shakes his head and smiles, his dimples showing up. 

„Thank you, I guess I’m just hiding here for a little bit.“ .

She looks at him, then a small smile lifts one corner of her mouth. She nods and turns away. 

„If you find something special, take it." She turns back to Jared. "The first piece is free.“ 

Well that’s a way to run a successful business. Jared shakes his head and looks around. 

As much as he'd love to, no way he is taking something from here. He still has his packing boxes all over his place. He glances out the large picture window. The weather seems to be getting better and he is nearly at the door when the sun comes out for the first time what feels like days. The sunbeams illuminate the room. And from the opposite corner something blinds his eyes. The sun is shining through the window and the ray is pointing toward a mirror. Jared walks over and looks at it closer. The mirror is way too modern compared to all this old stuff. It’s silver plated. The structure is simple in one way, but it has surprisingly baroque ornaments in each corner. 

His finger moves over the wooden frame.

It feels like the mirror doesn’t belong here. Like it’s calling for him to take it home. Jared looks back, but the old lady is nowhere to be seen. He remembers that he has no mirror in his bathroom, so maybe this is really fate. And she says the first thing is free, right? 

He gets the mirror and with one final look after the old lady, he leaves the store. The mirror is lighter than he expected and it’s not even bulky. Thank God the rain is pausing so he is able to walk home with his new furniture without getting it wet. 

At home he greets his dogs. He lets them out into the garden to play and they enjoy the rain-free moment for themselves. A view into the refrigerator let’s him know that he really has to do some grocery shopping. Only a few cans of whatever and some fruits are left. 

He heats up a can of ravioli and opens a beer. The mirror is setting next to the couch while he eats. 

He turns to watch the game, Cowboys against the Giants. The game ends 20-13. cowboys win. Jared turns the TV off, cleans up, let the dogs back in and feeds them. When he walks over the bathroom he tries to remember where he stored his hammer and nails . But maybe there are some tools left in the garage, so the boxes can wait one more day. He switches on the light and the bright shine from the ugly old light bulb fills the room. It flickers, and he taps on the bulb as if it would help. He needs to get a new one and he mentally add this to his to-do list .

So, for the mirror. He turns around to the sink and is surprised to see that there is already a dowel with a long, strong nail hammered into it. 

And even the height may work.

„Ha!“ He walks back to the living room to get the mirror and try not to step on one of his dogs . 

„Looks like you are really meant to be here.“ He tells the mirror as he hangs it on the wall, and really, it fits perfectly.

He looks at himself in the mirror and feels a full body, cold shiver run through him. The light starts to flicker again. „Damn light!“ He was on his way to switch it off when he sees some kind of movement within the mirror. Jared stops to look behind him. But there is just the empty bathroom. „Ok, this is ridiculous“. The moment he looks back into the mirror, he freezes. There it was again, just a shadow, right behind him. He turns around, laughing at himself. „So wow, I see a ghost, that’s just perfect.“

Maybe one of his dogs was running behind him. He switches off the light and goes back to the living room. The dogs still just lay there, sleeping and moving their feet, caught in a dream. He runs his hand over his mouth and shakes his head. „Time for me to go to bed, too.“

  
  
  



	2. Chapter Two

_ His shift takes one more hour. One more hour holding up a fake plastic smile, a ‘yes you are important to us‘ expression on his face. Jared is standing next to a customer who has been comparing two different mobile phones for twenty minutes. Jared tries to help, to explain, but regardless of what he says, the other one „knows“ better. So he keeps smiling, counting the minutes and wishing himself miles away. The sales talk ends as he assumed it would. „Thank you, but I will think about this a little bit longer.“ _

_ „Of course Sir, take your time, we are happy to help you.“ Jared nearly sings the words, but the moment the guy leaves he adds „and don’t you ever come back on a Saturday“. _

_ He clears up the table and takes a swallow from the lukewarm Coke hiding under his stall. 46 minutes left. The mechanical dong from the bell has him putting on his smile again, but as he turns around it’s replaced by an honest expression between excitement, anticipation, and ‘please take of your clothes now‘. _

_ The guy in front of him is no less than the hottest guy on the planet, scratch that, the universe! _

_ Tall, but not as tall as him. Broad shoulders to lean on, eyes to get lost in. Lips so incredibly full and soft looking. Legs, oh legs, so muscular and long and oh fuck his .. _

_ „Excuse me?“ _

_ „Oh hi, I'm sorry, hi. Welcome i.. how are you ? I mean hi how can I help you ?“ _

_ There is a small smirk on Mr. Perfect's lips and his cheeks blush a little. _

_ „Hi Jared. So, I’m fine thank you. And see I bought this phone yesterday and the women guaranteed me that it’s so easy to transfer your contacts from one to the other. I guess we may have to discuss the meaning of easy because .. it didn’t work.“  _

_ He knows my name?? Jared’s stomach feels warm and fluffy right before he remembers his name tag on his shirt. Okay, he is a customer, you are a professional, you can do it. _

_ „No problem I can help you, do you have both phones with you?“ _

_ Mr. Perfect digs out his obviously new phone and a historical device. _

_ „That’s your old phone?“ _

_ „Yes, why?“ _

_ „It’s … like 5 years old!“ _

_ „So?“ _

_ „It’s antique.“ _

_ „It does what a phone should do, I can call with it!“ _

_ „It has keys!“ _

_ „….“ _

_ „I mean .. it’s a ..let me see what I can do.“ _

_ Fifteen minutes later Jared proudly gives the phones back to Mr. 99 % Perfect. Updated and with some new sports and news apps. _

_ The guy stares at him in disbelief. _

_ „Dude, I spent three hours trying to make this work and you did it in this short time?  _

_ I was this close to adding all of them by hand! Wow, now I feel old.“ _

_ Handsome pouts. _

_ „Don't worry, you don't look old at all to me.“ _

_ Jared turns red, this was by far the lamest thing he could say. _

_ And Mr. Perfect just looks up at him. „Did you just try to flirt with me?“ _

_ „Depends on..“ _

_ „On what?“ _

_ „Did it work?“ _

_ Jared can’t believe his own bravery, but damn this guy is hot and charming and now he is smiling at him and Jared’s stomach is full of butterflies. He thought that Mr. Perfect might turn around and leave, but to his surprise he gives his phone back to Jared. _

_ „The Upload is not correct.“ _

_ „What ?“ _

_ „There is one contact missing!“ _

_ „I’m sure I added everything on it that was on the old phone…“ _

_ Jared looks back at him and their eyes meet . _

_ „And I am still sure it missed one contact - yours.“ _

_ The butterflies in Jared's stomach swarm out and his heart is beating too fast.  _

_ It’s the best feeling he has ever had. _

His heart doesn’t slow down. The goofy smile on his face seems to stay there forever. And when he opens his eyes it’s like he can still feel this stranger from his dreams. 

Jared swings his legs out of his bed and rests his elbows on his thighs. „What a dream…“ 

He can’t remember ever dreaming in such an intense way. It was like this guy was really in front of him. 

And God he was beautiful. 

Jared pads into the kitchen to brew some coffee and let the dogs out. He walks to the bathroom to take care of his business and tosses his dirty shirt and boxers on the floor. While the warm water runs down his back, his muscles start to relax. He doesn’t feel like he had enough sleep. The headache seems to have come back and he kneads his neck muscles to relax them. His thoughts are still with this crazy dream. He feels like he is missing something. Like a song that is in your head, but you can’t remember the lyrics. The guys eyes, so green like young, fresh grass in spring. Topped by eyelashes so beautiful that he wants to kiss those eyes just to feel the lashes tickling his lips. Jared turns off the shower, grabs a towel and dries himself. He wraps the towel around his hips. He really needs to get laid, he smiles to himself while he walks to the sink in order to brush his teeth. The bathroom is steamy because of the humidity and his brand new mirror is fogged up. He runs his left hand over the mirror and the moment he looks into it, his heart stops. He doesn’t see his own reflection. Jared is paralyzed by fear. In the mirror, the man of his dreams looks at him. He is not staring at him, more like he is looking right through him. „What the hell!“ Jared doesn’t recognize his own voice. He blinks, shaking his head. 

„What the fuck is this?“ He takes two steps back. The man is still there. He's  _ still _ in his fucking mirror! This is a nightmare. Must be! It is one of those weird dreams when you think you had a bad dream and then you realize that you are still dreaming. He tweaks his arm, yells at himself. „Wake up!“ but the man is still there. Fresh sweat is running down his back. He looks at the man in the mirror. Definitely the stranger of his dreams, but here he looks older and somehow sad. 

[](https://ibb.co/71s3y2R)

Maybe it’s a trick? Someone pulled a prank on him. Ha, that’s it. It’s just his imagination. A projection. Carefully he steps closer to the mirror. The man still doesn’t seem to notice him, just watching like he is searching for something. Nice try but you don’t fool me, Jared thinks and pulls the mirror down from the wall. There is a plain, normal wall behind it. So he inspects the back of the mirror, but to his disappointment it seems very normal. No false bottom. No wires. Nothing. 

So he regards the frame, but it’s just wood. Nothing that gives him an indication of how the hologram, and it must be a hologram, got in the mirror. In the end he found nothing, and when he turns the mirror he just sees himself. 

„I’m going mad, awesome.“ Jared laughs nervously and hangs the mirror back up on the wall. He continues to brush his teeth and the whole time he watches the mirror for any suspicious activity. But it’s just his own reflection that looks back at him. 

Dressed in a black hoodie and jogging pants, he gulps down his coffee and puts on his running shoes. The dogs are already waiting at the door and despite it getting cloudy again, he just can’t leave them behind this time . 

They run for an hour, passing the still not familiar streets. He turns left to come up to the old wooden house. He thinks about going back to the lady and asking her about the mirror. But what will he say? Excuse me ma'am, see I choose this mirror here ...is it haunted by a ghost? A really hot ghost, but still. And fun fact, he is also in my dreams, so is this enough reason for you to take it back? 

The dogs bark and he nearly tumbled over Sadie. „What?“ 

Jared shakes his head and leads the dogs to the park he promised them. He throws a tennis ball and the dogs fetch it eagerly. They have a good time there. He feels really happy for the first time in days. The sun even came out and bright sunlight shines down on the green grass. While he sits down under a tree, the shadow of the tree surrounds him in the bright light of the sun and he feels light and carefree. The dogs came back und lay down next to him. This early in the morning they seem to be the only ones in the park. He breathes and closes his eyes. Enjoys the smell of the grass. Fresh cut grass, his favorite smell. He was about to stand up and walk over the sun kissed spot on the green to let the sun warm his skin, when his mind goes back to the green eyes that haunted his dreams. He had never felt so attractive to a man before. He loves men, but this man was ..different. He was .. Jared tries to focus his thoughts as he allows his feelings to go back to the man in the mirror. There was something… a picture… there was a feeling .. nervous .. 

Jared doesn't even notice when his body hits the grass.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

_ After Jared closed the shop and walked home to his small apartment, Jensen sent him the first text. _

_ >this is my number.  _

_ Followed by a second text, one minute later.  _

_ >this is Jensen.  _

_ And another one  _

_ >the guy with the antique phone.  _

_ Jared feels his heart beating as he reads the messages. And he answers.  _

_ ~ I remember, the old man ;) _

_ The phone stays silent for a few minutes and Jared nearly loses it. Then two blue check marks.  _

_ Jensen reads it. Why didn’t he answer? Was he angry? The ‚old man‘ too mean? Did Jared screw up with just one text?  _

_ Then he noticed that Jensen has written back. And is still writing. So Jared can literally see the next message, „sorry Pal, that was a mistake, see you … „ _

_ Until Jensen’s note shows up _

_ > yes, /) _

_ Jared has a question mark over his head until he remembers how his mum tries to write for the first time and then he smiles to himself.  _

_ ~ still hate your new phone? _

_ ... _

_ > yes. _

_ ~ you get used to it. It’s really easy when you know how it works. Anyway now that we are talking I could use some advice. I am hungry, so tell me, oh wise man. Pizza or burger ?  _

_ … _

_ ... _

_ > the wise man advises you to order a penis…  _

_ ~ ? _

_ > no, I meant penis ! _

_ > take the burger and delete this number.  _

_ ~ i think i wet my pants. Lmao _

_ ~ Jensen?  _

_ ~ please now you owe me a pizza! Or a penis, whatever you like :) _

_ There is no answer from Jensen and Jared is sure he finally overstepped. _

_ He counts his bills and is on his way to get some food when his phone vibrates again. _

_ > 8575 Research Blvd. Sports bar. 30 minutes ?  _

_ ~ be there!  _

_ Jared arrives at the bar twenty minutes later. And Jensen is already waiting outside. Dressed in plain dark jeans and a black shirt. Jared’s mouth waters just by looking at Jensen’s arms flexing under the thin fabric. _

_ He himself couldn’t change. So he still wears his blue jeans and his Saturday sneakers. Yes, he has sneakers for Saturday, he loves routines. He just changed his sales shirt into a white button down Henley and by the look he gets from Jensen he seems to like it. They settle down in a corner of the bar, order beers and pizza, watch the Cowboys, and it seems like they have known each other for years. It just clicks. They talk, laugh, cheer as the Cowboys win. Other guests are coming and going, but neither of them wants to end this evening. Jared is smiling, his dimples deep and his cheeks are flushed. He can’t stop staring at Jensen. He’s way more quiet than himself, but so smart. When he talks it’s charming and intelligent and with just the right amount of sarcasm. Jared never believed in love at first sight, but right here and now, he thinks Cupid just shot him in his heart. _

_Jensen works at the hospital three times a week while studying sports medicine, and dreams of having his own practice one day. Jared is fascinated by Jensen’s passion and how he plans everything. Jensen is so focused and clear on his way to reach his goals and accomplish them. _So not_ like himself. Jared works hard, he has three different jobs but still no plan for his future. But Jensen doesn’t seem to care. He doesn’t see him as a loser or a failure as he often describes himself . He looks at him as if he is the most precious thing in this world. Their eyes meet all the time, so do their fingers . And at one point their fingers slide together. It’s incredible, he can’t describe his happiness. Eventually they have to leave, walking down the street, dizzy from the beer and .. from .. this. Their fingers first touch lightly, and then their pinkies hook. At one point Jensen stops to look at Jared. He chews on his bottom lip and it’s the cutest thing Jared has ever seen. Finally Jensen finds his voice and he lifts his chin a bit to lock his eyes with Jared. _

_ „I .. I don’t know what to say … I .. this night.. was really amazing. I never met someone with so much energy, so much fun. I had a Hell of a week. My new boss at the hospital treats us like shit. I was so angry that I broke my phone and I still hate this new one .. but without this .. I wouldn't have met you and you... I don’t know if you see it, but when you talk, you light up a room. I really enjoyed this Jared and if I c..mmmf…..  _

_ Jared’s lips silence Jensen. It's raw and impetuous. And Jared immediately flinches.  _

_ „Sorry Jensen sorry .. but I couldn’t ..“ _

_ „Shut up.“ _

_ Jensen takes Jared's face in his hand and leans in for another kiss. This time it is soft and sweet. Jared whimpers, hands clutching on Jensen’s strong arms as he slips his tongue into Jensen’s mouth. It’s hot and wet and oh God yes! Jensen moves his hands now into Jared's hair, bringing them impossible closer. The kiss is soft and gentle, then hard and desperate. Jared feels dizzy and so alive, like this is real, Jensen is real. „Where have you been my whole life?“ Jensen whispers against Jared's lips. _

_ „I am here now, not gonna leave you.“ Jared responds, and he feels the rain coming down on his heated cheeks. _

The rain gets stronger and stronger.

Jared opens his eyes and sits up, frightened. 

The dogs are barking at him as they try to wake him up.

Jared needs a moment to refocus. His palm wipes the rain out of his face. He stands up, still weak in the knees. He can’t believe that he just fell asleep and dreamt again of this man -Jensen?- 

But right know he has another priority. He whistles and the dogs follow him through the rain on his way back home. The clouds are dark, the lightning of a thunderstorm illuminates the sky. While running through the rain, Jared is wondering how long he was out. What is happening here? He crosses Creestone Rd, the traffic sign still malfunctioning, rain keeps pouring down on him. Wets his skin. Thick raindrops running down his hair make it damp, then wet. The rolling of the thunder comes closer. The distance between the lightning and the thunder getting shorter and motivating him to increase his speed . Harley and Sadie keep pace with him, even running in front of him, but looking back if as if they want to make sure their human is still there. By the time he reaches his home, his shirt sticks completely to his skin. There seems to be no dry spot on him. He opens the door and tries to stop the dogs, but they just overrun him and tear into the living room. “No! stop! Bad dogs, damn it!“ The dogs keep on barking, running into each other on their way to the bathroom. Jared runs to the bedroom and gets two towels and follows them. “Don’t even think about shaking yourselves“. But it was like they just waited for this comment to start to shake their whole bodies. Drops of water spray in every direction, hitting Jared, who kneels in front of them and tries unsuccessfully to keep the mess to a minimum. He manages to dry them as good as possible. Cleans their paws and rubs their fur dry. “Feeling better? Well at least someone is dry now.“ he laughs. The bulb starts flickering again. He shivers due to his wet clothes. He is petting Sadie’s head when he recognizes the dogs behavior. While the dogs were wild and cocky before, now they seemed calm and alert. “What is it?“ Jared asks, but he was afraid he already knew the answer. Both dogs sit down, like on command. But they didn’t look at Jared, no, they both look in the same direction, over his shoulder and right above him. They are looking at the mirror. Jared stops petting Sadie. His muscles freeze in the movement. His heart starts beating faster and cold sweat starts to run down his neck, mixing with the humidity of his rain-soaked skin. Jared didn’t know what to do. Crawl out of the room? Turn around and look up? Pretending like nothing is wrong? The dogs wag their tails as if they are excited and then Harley starts to howl. Jared turns around out of reflex. 

The moment he saw Jensen back in the mirror he is so shocked that he slipped. He crawls to the other end of the bathroom, hitting the tiles while still focusing on the mirror. It’s the same situation. The guy, Jensen, is looking toward him, still pale and tired, but he doesn’t seem to see him. „What the fuck!“ Jared tries to say, but he chokes on the words, his throat dry. The dogs are irritated, looking between him and the mirror, the still flickering light making it even more creepy. And Jared loses it. “Get out! Get the fuck out! Leave me alone!“ he buries his hands in his hair. The dogs fly out of the room, scared of the harsh words of their master. Jared’s body is shaking. He presses his palms into his eyes. Tries to hold back the tears that collect in his eyes. “Please leave me alone. I am not crazy, please, I am not crazy. What's happening to me?“

He opens his eyes, beaten and exhausted. He sits on the cold tile floor and looks up to the unnatural light illuminating the room. It’s quiet, and he is all alone. 

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

_ Cotton. The fragrance of just-washed linen. Soft and cuddly. Jared buries his nose in the mattress. And moans. Deep. He feels ...Oh God! Oh God! Sweat forms on his naked skin. His lips chanting the words while they touch the white fabric. His eyes are closed, his skin is on fire. Every touch is like an electric impulse. He shifts his weight on his right forearm, his upper body rubbing over the solid tissue torturing his already over sensitive nipples. The hard, tiny buds are red and swollen. He’s rutting against the sheets. His dick is so hard, and precome is leaking into the mattress. His left hand reaches backward and covers Jensen’s neck. His fingers slip through Jensen’s short hair. Jensen is everywhere. Jared feels his hands touching every millimeter of his skin. His body lays on top of him, covering him like a blanket. Jared spreads his legs, open and wide, and Jensen lays between them. Jared still has his hand on Jensen’s neck and he pulls him down, turning his head until their lips find each other. The kiss is hungry and wet and Jared keeps on moaning into Jensen’s mouth. Jensen places his hands next to Jared's shoulders. With soft kisses over his cheeks, his neck, and his back, Jensen straightens his upper body. He takes his time, placing whispered kisses and tender bites on Jared's back until he rises up completely and finally grabs Jared’s hips to bring them up against his crotch. Jared lifts his ass up in the air. He feels a cold shiver over his sensitive hole. He's slicked already with lube and spit, stretched and ready, oh so ready. Jensen slides his cock over and over Jared's rim. Lets his hands run over Jared's ass cheeks while he pushes his pelvis rhythmically against Jared. “For God sakes stop teasing! Fuck me!“ a soft chuckle sounds behind him and he feels Jensen’s dick pressing against his hole. A soft moan leaves Jensen’s mouth as Jared’s tight muscle gives in and stretches out around the cock head. Inch by inch he feels Jensen’s dick moving inside him, finally filling him completely. He relaxes while Jensen is behind him, his fingers still moving over Jared's ass. Telling him how good he feels, how amazing he is. He loves being claimed by Jensen. Loves to feel so full and complete. “Move, please move“ is all he is able to say. And when Jensen starts pounding into him, it’s overwhelming, like the first time. They both moan, and it drives Jared wild to hear Jensen’s deep voice, full of lust, knowing he is the one responsible for it. Jensen thrusts deeper and faster, skating over Jared's prostate and Jared gets back on his hands trying to bring himself even closer to Jensen, his dick deeper into him. Jensen’s nails dig into his flesh and he can feel that Jensen is close, and it makes his own arousal nearly unbearable. He clasps his own dick and wanks it. When Jensen’s movements become more and more erratic, he pulls out his dick and turns Jared so that he lays on his back. Jensen eyes are filled with lust. He pulls off the condom, ties it off, and throws it next to the bed. Seeing Jensen on top of him, driven just by pure instinct and lust, it’s all Jared needs. He pulls Jensen’s face to him, mouths clashing together, and it's primitive, and hot, and oh fucking yes! Jensen takes both their cocks in his hand and strokes them hard and fast. The moment Jared's orgasm hits him he lets go of Jensen, throws his head back into the mattress, his eyes open wide and he just screams Jensen’s name. Jensen follows right behind him, covering Jared's abdomen with both of their come. He strokes them both a few more times before he carefully lays next to Jared. He place an arm beneath Jared's neck and lets his other hand move over Jared's sensitive skin. Jared’s breath slows down, his dick twitching with every touch of Jensen, but he feels so good, so relaxed, and so … loved? Jared’s eyes find the green orbs of Jensen’s, who digs his fingers through the milky drops on his stomach, collecting the liquid and coating Jared's lips with it. His tongue wipes over them, tasting their mixed fluids and Jensen leans down to kiss him again, sharing their taste. “Happy birthday“ he whispers against Jared's skin. And Jared has to close his eyes to prevent the tears that have started to build from falling. They have been a couple for seven month now. Today, Jensen met Jared's family for the first time. And first it seemed like every year. Mom showering him with love, Dad talking about sports, and his brother can’t stop teasing him. When will he find a good job? What plans does he have? He is 24 and still hasn't achieved anything. But this year is different. This year Jensen is at his side. Charming his Mum, talking about the Cowboys with Dad and .. telling his brother that Jared is awesome, that Jared is passionate in his work, and that he is proud of him. This year is special. He found someone who... maybe loves him just the way he is?  _

_ They clean up and go back to bed . _

_ In the darkness of the room, when he feels Jensen’s strong arms holding him, kissing his shoulder, he finally finds the courage to say aloud what his heart felt from the first moment they met. _

_ „Jensen?“ _

_ „What?“ _

_ „I love you.“ _

  
  


Jared slowly opens his eyes. Everything hurts. His neck, his head, and fuck, the muscles in his back are sore. A warm body is laying next to him. And behind him. It takes him a moment to recognize his dogs surrounding him. He pats Sadie’s soft fur. She raises her head and pokes her nose in Jared's arm. Harley gets up from behind and plods around him. He cuddles with Sadie, and finally they both get up and leave the bathroom. It was only then that Jared realized where he was. He's still lying on the bathroom floor. Getting cold, now that the dogs are gone. Then everything rushes back to him. The nightmare, the mirror, Jensen!

He looks up to the mirror, but it shows just the grey tiles above him. Slowly Jared stands up. He steps in front of the mirror, looking only at himself. And he looks like crap. The artificial light makes his skin appear even more pale. Dark circles under his eyes. Beard stubble on his chin, and his hair fuzzy and pointing in all directions. Jared touches the frame. It feels warm. „Who are you?“ For a moment he isn’t sure whom he asks this question. But he knows now that he has to do something. This has to stop. He walks to his kitchen, getting food for the dogs and some fresh coffee. How long did he fall asleep for this time? He rubs his neck, his head still hurting. Outside, the rain is still pouring down, but in the distance he can see the sun breaking through the gray of the clouds. 

He gets the milk out of the fridge and a clean mug from the board. When he opens the bottle he nearly chokes. The milk is spoiled and damn, he forgot the groceries. Shit. He looks into the fridge and finds nothing in it. Great! And the two remaining bananas in the fruit bowl also seem pretty dark and more than overripe. 

Okay he sighs, first things first. What’s on the list? Drinking black coffee, making a grocery list, getting rid of a ghost in the bathroom. Sounds like an excellent plan. He kicks one of the moving boxes out of his way and drops himself onto the couch. He turns on the TV, but as he realizes their just showing the rebroadcast of the Cowboys game, he switches it off again. He needs to focus.

How to get rid of a ghost? Ask him to leave? Exorcise him? Does he have salt at home? Why the hell does he think about salt right now? 

And there is this little voice asking him ..does he want his ghost to leave?

Jared’s shakes his head. Of course he wants him to. Maybe the ghost is sad because he is stuck in Jared's mirror and now he tortures Jared with all these dreams. Well, it’s not all torture, but still. He never really wasted a single thought on bringing the mirror back. It doesn’t feel right. The mirror is his, the lady says..

Jared’s eyes widen. Of course! 

He jumps from the couch and gets his keys. Let’s see what the lady can tell him about his find. 

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Jared stands in front of the old house. The dark wood is weathered, and it seems to need more than just a few cosmetic repairs. The house is small, just one level, and a small picket fence surrounding it. The transom windows make it look less bleak, but the glass is fogged, and the peeling paint of the wood gives only a hint of the wonderful color it once had. The sun finally shows up and Jared feels the warm rays on his skin and the house is suddenly ablaze with light. His mood gets better, and there is a feeling inside of him that gives him hope and a kind of peace. Light-footed, he climbs the three steps to the door, when his dogs suddenly refuse to follow. They stand at the doorstep, stiff as a poker and even Sadie starts to growl. 

„Hey guys, what's going on with you?“ Jared tries to insist that they follow him, but both stay in their places. „Ok, cowards, then stay!“ he waits till the dogs lay down and then enters the store on his own.

The interior of the store hasn’t changed since his last visit. The toys and books greeting him and once more Jared is tempted to look through all of these things. The smell of cinnamon hits his nose. He lets his fingers wander over the back covers of the books which stand there in rank and file on an old bookshelf. A whole row with only Star Wars books, Han Solo's adventures, the Lando Calrissian Trilogy, God! He devoured these books as a child. He is picking up one of the books when he hears a sound from the back of the room. Right. He is not here to reminisce, he is here to solve his little ghost problem. He corners the bookshelf and walks toward the back of the store. A pretty dark corridor lead to an old gray door. There are symbols on the door, a big square covering the entire middle part of the door. A beam points to the middle and forms a circle which makes up the center of the door. Jared slowly walks closer to the door. Light shines beneath it, warm and bright. He nearly reaches the door and his hand moves out to reach for the golden, glimmering knob when he hesitates. It doesn’t feel right. He shouldn’t do this. Green eyes suddenly appear in the corner of his mind, sad and so beautiful. Jensen, he is here for Jensen, he needs Jared. The feeling is overwhelming and Jared takes a deep breath, his arm falls down, and he turns around to nearly collide with the old lady.

„Oh shit, sorry i just .. i didn’t mean to snoop around.“

He passes the women to get a bit more distance between them. She turns with him, keeps looking at him. Her expression is soft, but as if she is a little disappointed. 

„It’s ok darling, do what feels right.“ her voice is smooth.

Jared looks between the door and the women. She wears the same black dress as the last time.

„Would you like a cup of tea?“ Jared remembers the cinnamon scent, the familiar feeling it brings with it.

Jared hesitates, but refuses.

„No thank you ma’am. I have a question about the mirror I took from here.“

There is a moment of sadness in her eyes. 

„Call me Paschar. A mirror? You sure that you got it here?“

„Paschar. That's a nice name. I'm Jared, and  _ yes _ i definitely got it from here. You don't remember? You offered to let me take one piece, and i really hope it was an honest offer, because otherwise this is now a very awkward situation!“ He scratches his neck and hopes he didn’t misunderstand her offer. New town and being immediately arrested for robbery wasn’t on his to do list. 

„Don't panic darling. I told you you could pick anything that felt right, I just didn't remember that there was a mirror…. so what is your question?“

They walk side by side through the bookshelves.

Jared hesitates. How on earth should he start this?

„Well, you know this might sound crazy, but since i have had this mirror, i am having dreams. And they really feel real and there’s this man, in my dreams and ..i see him..maybe.. in the mirror?“

He whispers the last words as sweat starts to build on his forehead. 

Paschar slows her walk, her fingers skimming over the books like Jared did just minutes ago.

„Do you know this man?“ she asks him.

„No, ..i .. no i thought maybe you… does the name  _ Jensen _ mean anything to you?"

The moment he says Jensen`s name, there's a pain inside of him, just like a needle jabbing into his stomach. 

Old blue eyes watching him attentively.

„No, it doesn’t. What does it mean to  _ you _ ?“

„I don’t know, I mean, it's weird. I look at him and it scares me, and I think I freak out. But then I see him in my dreams and it feels so real. It’s like i  _ should _ know him, like he is a real person. And he seems nice and happy, but whenever I see him in the mirror, he is sad.“

Jared looks down at his feet.

„Sometimes when people dream their subconscious creates a world that gives them a place to feel safe. Familiar faces, places, and smells so that the body can relax or become better able to handle a situation.“

„Paschar, I don't think you understand. I'm not just talking about me having a dream.. I mean ...do you believe in ghosts?“

She sighs.

„Yes I do darling.“ 

She walks up to one of the windows, the sun shining on her face, and she closes her eyes.

„Ghost are lost souls. They're stuck between two worlds. They can't find peace. Some are angry and violent, others are full of guilt or..love.“

„What happens to them?“

She turns back to Jared.

„They need to find their way. And they have to do it by themselves. They have to accept the truth. If they don’t ..“

„What happens if they don’t?“ 

„They are trapped, forever, never find peace, never find satisfaction.They will lose everything they once were, till there is nothing but sadness and darkness in them."

Jared feels tired, his headache returning, but all he can think about is this guy who needs him. 

„So, what if he  _ is _ real? What if he is captured inside this mirror and wants me to help him?“

His eyes are big and shiny with unshed tears. 

„You really care for him?“

„Yes I do.“ Jared is surprised by his own words, but it is the truth, despite Jensen being a ghost, Jared cares for him. 

„I know how it sounds, but I have to.. I  _ need _ to help him. I don’t know why, but i have to do something.“

Paschar looks at him for a long time, considering his words.

She closes the distance between them, and with a short look over her shoulder, and then to the door at the end of the corridor, she whispers to him. 

„Did you try to talk to him?“

„What?“

„Did you try to reach him?“

„Wouldn’t that be crazy?“ Jared asks in confusion.

„Says the man with a ghost in his mirror.“ Paschar answers with a grin.

Jared smiles at her, his dimples showing, and he thinks about hugging her just because he feels much better.

„So I am officially crazy, but I will do it. Thank you.“

He is turning to the door when a small hand grabs his shoulder. 

„Jared, I am here for you.“

„Thank you. I appreciate your help.“

„Please remember that you can come back here anytime.“

„I will.“

He steps out of the store and his dogs are at his side immediately. They press their bodies against him, tails wagging and they start barking. „Hey, calm down.“ he laughs, while he walks down the stairs back to the road. The autumn air brings the chill back, and while the sun starts to sink lower, clouds are visible in the sky. 

„Guess we better hurry up. So, who wants to do some grocery shopping?“ the dogs jump and bark again and Jared laughs and runs with them back down the street. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

„Are you kidding me?!“

Jared stands in front of the grocery store staring at the „Closed“ sign on the door. The dogs are pressing their noses against the glass. 

„Fucking small town. Fucking stupid operating hours.“ He curses to himself. His watch is at home, so is his phone. He trots down the street, looking at the sky painted in a beautiful mixture of red and blue. But it isn't enough to change his mood. He crosses Sapphire street again. The bar is closed as well, or just not open yet. The still broken traffic light laughing at him with its green flashing light. At least it hasn't started to rain. He takes the final steps to his home. Kicks the door open and let the dogs inside.

He gets another tin can of dog food. And later, a can with mac 'n cheese for him. It smells like crap and tastes like crap. But that’s what he gets for setting the wrong priorities. He searches for his phone, but cant find it and kicks at the boxes in frustration. „Yes, I know that you're still there. Just fucking unpack yourselves.“ The dogs look up from their bowls and Sadie whimpers softly. “Sorry.“ he replies, not sure if it's meant to him or the dogs. Where did this aggression come from? He tosses the rest of the macaroni in the trash, cleans his hands, and steps into the bathroom.

He’s just been avoiding this and now it's time to face it.

„Come on Ghostie, show yourself!“ But he sees only himself in the mirror. 

„Come on, where are you?“ Jared looks in every corner of the mirror, tries to concentrate, to focus like he can look through his own reflection.

„I'm here, you wanna tell me something? Come on, let's talk.“

But there is still just his own pale face and the lighting bulb swinging behind him.

„Fuck it! Jensen!  _ Jensen _ !“ He shouldn’t feel so worried, right? He wanted him gone, so maybe he is gone now. Finally made his peace. He should feel relieved. But it's the opposite. He feels lost, even lonely. He places one hand on each side of the mirror. „Please Jensen, are you there? Can you hear me?“ He failed . Again. As he always does. Like the time…

_ Shh ..shhh. _

_ I know you want out, but you are a surprise, so please wait a second ok?“ _

_ Jared pets the small German Shepherd Puppy. Sadie leans into Jared's large hands and starts to lick his palm. She whimpers softly and Jared's heart is so full of love for this tiny creature. He hopes his partner will have the same feelings. Jensen should be back from work by now and Jared is starting to get nervous. They agreed to meet in Jared's apartment, and Jared told him that there may be a surprise waiting for him. Jensen responds with a gif ( he can do this now) and hopes that the surprise contains Jared naked on the sheets, and if that’s the case he may have a surprise for him as well. Wrapped with a ribbon. Jared scratches carefully over Sadie’s belly while the puppy turns on her back. He rescued her three days ago. The call came while he was on his way to his day job at the Best Buy store downtown. He has volunteered at the animal shelter for two years. Sometimes they can pay him a little, but most of the time he does it for free. He loves it. So when they called him and told him that they got the call that two dogs were spotted by drivers, both chained on I-35, he didn’t hesitate. He turns his car and is on his way. He arrives at the described place and there they sit. Two small puppies, wet and dirty, and Jared's heart stops. He gets out of the car, shouts at others passing him and honking and flipping the bird at him for stopping in the middle of the Interstate , but Jared doesn’t care. He runs to the small dogs, unknots the rope they were fixed with, and deposits the two bundles into his car. He drives to the next possible parking spot and stops and exams the two dogs. They are in a bad shape, but not life-threatening. Too thin, dirty, and exhausted, but nothing serious. He pets them and both immediately try to climb him, licking him and showering him with love. Jareds laughs and puts the dogs back in the backseat again and drives all the way to the shelter. Over the last three days they had become his world. Sadie and Harley. He named them and took care of them. He looks after them every day and can't stop taking pictures of both of them and sending them to Jensen. And then today his world turned upside down. First he got a call from his boss at the Best Buy store to inform him that he is fired, because he came in too late to work. Jared tries to explain, but his boss just said that it was the second time and that’s it. When he arrives at the shelter, Harley, the mastiff, was gone, leaving Sadie alone in the cage. Jared was crushed. He was happy for Harley that he was adopted, but his heart broke for Sadie and himself. And then, out of the blue, he told Karen at reception that he is going to adopt Sadie. Karen tries to convince him to sleep a night over it or to talk with Jensen first. He snaps at her, why would need permission from his boyfriend? Why can't he make a decision without being judged or questioned . He was harsh and unfair, but losing his job and one of his puppies, it was just too much. Karen went quiet and agreed, but he had to promise to call her tomorrow.  _

_ So there he is, sitting on his bed, when he hears a knock on his door. _

_ „It's open!“ he shouts, coming out and closing the door to the bedroom. _

_ He wants to explain Jensen what happened, but the moment Jensen opens the door, and just his head peeks around, Jared loses it. _

_ „I screwed up.“  _

_ Jensen waits a second, then pushes the door closed behind him , and steps into the room. _

_ „What happened?" _

_ „I got fired! “ he shouts, angry about the world and himself. I got fired since i didn’t show up at work because I rescued Harley and Sadie and my boss kicked me out, and some asshole adopted Harley and I couldn't let Sadie leave behind.  _

_ She's all alone Jensen. I know what you are going to say.I know. But I will fix it, okay? I will find a new job and i will take care of the dog.“ Jared paces up and down the living room, watching Jensen's face turning from pale to amused.  _

_ „Don’t give me that look, okay? I couldn’t leave her, and yes, I know I was acting irresponsible, but for fucks sake will you stop laughing at me!“ Angry hazel eyes shoot daggers at Jensen's face. Jensen approaches him and takes Jared in his arms and that’s when it all became too much. _

_ „I fucked up Jensen. I have no idea what I was thinking, I told my boss that he can kiss my ass and that he doesn’t have a soul if he couldn’t understand.“ _

_ Jensen rubs Jared's arms.  _

_ „Yeah sounds like you.“ _

_ „I couldn’t leave her behind.“ _

_ He kiss Jareds forehead. _

_ „Sound like you, too.“ _

_ „How will I pay my rent and dog food and …“ _

_ He kisses Jared's lips. _

_ „We'll fix it.“ _

_ „Why are you not mad?“ _

_ Jensen palms Jared's cheeks. _

_ „Because the last two years with you have been the best years of my life. Because you are you. Wonderful, amazing, compassionate, breathtaking, beautiful and I don't want you to ever change.“ _

_ „Jerk.“ _

_ „You sure know how to return a compliment.“ _

_ „Love you.“ _

_ „That’s better.“ _

_ „You wanna see her?“ _

_ Jared takes one step out of Jensen's embrace and heads to the bedroom, when Jensen's eyes suddenly go wild. _

_ „Shit, wait.“ _

_ „What?“ _

_ „Wait I forgot. You know what I told you? Present? Ribbon?“ _

_ „Yeah, but don’t you think this can wait a moment?“ Jared wiggles his eyebrows and runs his finger over the fly of Jensen's jeans. _

_ „Nope, don’t think so. But please keep this in mind for later, when you wanna thank me.“ _

_ Jensen turns to open Jared's apartment door and when he turns, there is a transport kennel is in his hands. In it, a happy, barking Mastiff mix puppy.  _

_ „Oh my God!“ Jared is speechless. He opens the box and embraces Harley and hugs the puppy. Harley licks his ear and barks, full of happiness, and then his bedroom door opens and immediately the room is filled with two bundles of fur. Barking, cuddling, playing with each other. Jared sits down on the couch, Jensen next to him. _

_ „I made Karen swear to not say a single word. I should have known better. How could I honestly believe that we could separate them?“ _

_ Jared grins, before he gets serious. _

_ „Jensen, I have two dogs, a small apartment, and I lost my main job.“  _

_ Jensen sits back upright next to him and takes Jared's hand. _

_ „Okay first, you will find a new job.“ He kneads Jared's knuckles. _

_ „And second, … I was planning to do this a bit different but here we go. _

_ Will you and the dogs move in with me? You know I have enough space. The house is small, but it has a garden. And most of the time we're at my place anyway. And it is stupid to pay for two places, and I want you there and the dogs and…what ?“ _

_ „I said yes during your first question.“ _

_ „Oh.“ _

_ „Come here.“ _

_ Jared slides his arms over Jensen's body, crossing them behind his neck and laying them both back on the couch. Jared opens the vee of his legs to make more room for Jensen. He kisses him passionately and opens his mouth to welcome Jensen's tongue. He moans and puts one foot on the ground to ease the pressure while he brings their dicks against each other. Jensen stops, kisses his nose, and looks a bit hurt.  _

_ „Jared I may have forgotten to mention one more thing.“ He whispers in his ear. _

_ „Yeah, what?“ Jared kisses him again, biting playfully at his bottom lip. Jensen gives a loud groan. _

_ „There IS a second ribbon hidden, and if you don’t stop immediately something may die! _

_ Jared snickers and tries to get up. _

_ „Well then let's unwrap my present shall we?“ _

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

Cold sweat is running down Jared's neck. His heart is beating and his view is clouded. The light behind him flickers again and he hears the rumbling of a thunderstorm outside. It’s nothing compared to the storm inside himself. His hands are holding the sink desperately, his knuckles shining white under his skin. Out of nothing Jensen appears in the mirror. His hair is undone and he has dark circles under his eyes. Like he hasn’t slept for days. Jared stares back into the mirror, back into Jensen`s emerald eyes. They are shining in a mixture of fear and despair. 

„What are you doing to me?“ He shouts at the ghost in his mirror. „I tried to help you! Why are you messing with me! Get out of my fucking head!“ Angry tears are running down his cheeks, but he ignores them. His face is red and his hazel eyes are nearly deep blue and nothing,  _ nothing _ makes sense. What is he missing here?

What is wrong? It’s like he is falling into nothingness. His life, everything, it doesn’t make any sense. 

He is so angry, there is a frustration deep inside of him, a fury that wants to burst out, and as he stares back at the man on the other side, he snaps. He hit the mirror with his flat hand. One, two, three times.

„Answer me! Tell me why you’re doing this! Tell me i am not crazy!“

He shouts the words, spit and hate hitting the mirror, when Jensen's eyes suddenly focus on him. No, they  _ stare _ at him. Beautiful, sad, green eyes find his own and his skin is ice cold when Jensen opens his mouth.

„Jared?“

Jared just stares, both hands back on the mirror, trying to touch him, trying to reach for Jensen, who doesn’t flinch back, just keeps looking at him.

„Jared can you hear me?“

„Yes, damn it, yes I can!“

„You have to come back to me, please.“ Jensen pleads. 

Jensen's eyes are full of unfallen tears, his voice so desperate and lost.

Jared wants nothing more than to stop this man from being so sad.

„Jensen, I want to help you, please let me help you.“

„Jared? Please. I don’t know if you can hear me, but .. you know I love you more than anything, please i need you to fight,  _ please _ come back.“

When the tears start to run over Jensen cheeks, Jared runs his finger softly over Jensen's image. It feels warm, he feels so warm. There is something inside of him, burning like a flame, emotions overwhelming him. Could it be?? Could he fall in love with a ghost? Could he ..?

„What do you want me to do?“ his voice sounds so strange and his mouth is dry. All of his anger is suddenly gone and he feels his own sadness instead.

He fears the answer, but he needs to know.

„Open your eyes Jared.“ 

„What? My eyes are op..“

„Please Baby, open your eyes and come back to me.“ 

„Jensen, I don’t know what you mean.. I am here, I am here, I..you..“

No.. this isn’t true.. Can’t be. He is here, he is in his bathroom, he moved just.. 

Jared tumbled back from the mirror, his back touching the cold tiles of the opposite wall. He tries to stabilize himself, but everything is turning, spinning. 

He would remember, he wouldn’t forget..NoNoNo

He came here because, because, why is he here?

Why?

„No, this can't be true! This is crazy, I am going crazy.“ He steps outside the bathroom, his legs nearly giving out. This is his home, right? He just has to remember. Why did he move here? He stumbled against one of the boxes on the floor. Why is he so afraid to open them? 

Focus Jared, breathe, think. 

He grabs the remote for the TV. Watches it come alive. His heart nearly drops. 

It shows the game.  _ Again _ . Cowboys in the lead. He switch the channels. All showing the same. The same game, the same minute. 

Jared feels like he wants to scream but there is no sound leaving his mouth. 

His hand covers his lips, he staggers to the kitchen sink. Lets the water run. He hears the rain patter against the windows. He wants to refresh his face when the water suddenly turns brown. Thick and rusty it runs down the sink. Jareds starts to choke, but nothing leaves his stomach. It's like this world has stopped existing. The milk sour, the fruits..? He looks over to the fruit dish..the fruits are dark brown, maggots winding in the rotten skin.

_ This is not real, please, this can't be real, please, someone help me. _

With one last effort he moves to the boxes. It’s the last piece of the puzzle and he suddenly knows what’s inside. His hands are shaking, but he opens the lid.

Tears falling free, he takes the picture out of the box. A simple frame with a black and white picture. Him, Sadie, Harley, and ..Jensen. Happy, together. 

He touches the frame. He remembers the day, it was spring, the first warm day with them.

How could he forget?

How did he get his dogs? 

He knows it, or not, what the hell? 

He just needs to remember 

He got them ..he.. no.. not him..

Jensen.

They both..

Jensen!

He runs back to the bathroom. 

The thunderstorm outside climaxes in its full power. When he reaches the mirror a horrible sound makes his stomach turn.

The mirror cracks in the right corner.

„No!“

„Jensen!“

He screams at his own reflection.

„No! Come back!“

Think Jared, Think,

_ Open your eyes .. _ he said, open your eyes.

He tries to focus on that, feels a chill rushing down on him. Feels like he is underwater, fighting, swimming, up to the surface to..

Lighting strikes close to the house, thunder rolling immediately behind. A window breaks, he hears the glass shatter. Jared runs back into the living room. Rain and wind are rushing inside. His dogs barking, growling, when suddenly the door flies open and Sadie and Harley run outside. 

„No! Shit !“ 

Jared screams and runs close behind them. Outside it feels like the world is going to end. To his left the horizon is in complete darkness. Thunderbolts and lightning don’t seem to stop. Rain is pouring down and the wind is so strong he nearly can't open his eyes.

He shouts for his dogs, tries to run after them, but the wind is too strong. He can’t see them anymore. He screams their names, but the wind takes his screams away unheard. His fists grab into his hair. He is soaking wet and he feels like he has lost himself. The storm comes even closer and he is afraid, so afraid. Why is no one here? Where is everyone? He can’t breathe. He shouts and shouts and tries to run but where should he go? 

There is no light, no cars, no one. He is alone, he is all alone. He screams Jensen’s name. It can’t be .. Jensen is the ghost .. isn’t he? What if he's not.. 

He remembers Paschar`s words. _ They have to accept the truth.  _

What if he...? What if it is not about Jared saving Jensen? What if Jensen is trying to save  _ him _ ? 

A crashing sound makes him look up. Roof tiles are falling down from his house, carried away by the wind.

He tries to duck away when out of nowhere a single one hits his head. He crashes down onto the street in the pouring rain and loses consciousness.

  
  
  
  


_ „Jensen!“ Jared rises up in his bed. The nightmare still lingers in his bones. He kneads his neck and watches the rain, running in thick lines down his window. His breath slowly becomes normal and automatically his hand moves to Jensen`s side of the bed. It’s cold. Jared sighs. Again. Jared checks his phone, no new messages, but he knows when Jensen is at work he barely has time to text. 6 am. He should be home. Damn double shifts. Slowly Jared rises up to his feet and pads to the bathroom. While he is standing under the warm shower spray he still worries about his boyfriend. They moved in together two years ago. And it's perfect. Well, mostly. There are of course some arguments and fights. Jared`s happy morning mood clashes with „not before coffee Jared, “ grumbles Jensen. Jensen`s „please don’t tell me you are keeping these jeans“ overlaps Jared`s „you know there is a dishwasher right there!“ But all in all, he has never been happier in his whole life. There is just one thing that bothers him. He never feels good enough. He found a new job sure, but it doesn't pay enough to cover half of their costs. Sometimes he just feels like a burden, especially when Jensen works so hard. But Jensen never complains. Always tells him that it's okay. But it's not. Not for him. He notices something is up. Jensen has been so quiet over the last few weeks. Sometimes so deep in thought. Jared feels it, tries to ask what’s going on. But Jensen just said it's nothing, but Jared knows better. He knows this man. And it makes him feel even worse. The feeling grows at family dinners, his brother still mocking him. And it just increased his insecurity.  _

_ He steps out the shower, a towel around his waist, and walks to the kitchen. Coffee is already brewing, thanks to Jensen's new investment. He takes a mug down from the cupboard when he hears soft snoring from the couch. He takes a second mug and walks over. He stops a moment to admire the view. Jensen lays on his stomach, his head buried deep in the couch cushion. He still wears his clothes, as if he had just crashed down immediately. Only a light blanket covers him. Jared sighs, the view making his heart sink. Jensen looks quite tired. Jared places the mugs down on the table and lets the dogs out. The happy barking and the cold rush of air ensure that Jensen wakes up.  _

_ Slowly Jared trots back to Jensen, hands him one of the mugs, and sits down on the coffee table to face his boyfriend. Jensen grabs the mug and sits upright. Tired, swollen eyes facing the hot liquid.  _

_ „When did you come home?“  _

_ Jensen looks down at his watch. _

_ „Two hours ago, sorry, didn’t wanna wake you up.“ _

_ „You should have. Passing out on the couch is the worst for your neck.“ _

_ „Yes mum.“ _

_ Jared rolls his eyes, but then he needs to ask. _

_ It's like a lump, deep in his stomach. _

_ „Jensen, are we okay?“ _

_ He fears the answer, fears that his feeling was right. _

_ Jensen`s eyes go wide and then turn soft. He leans forward, takes Jared's wrist in his hands and kisses the soft skin over Jared’s pulse . _

_ He looks up into Jared`s shimmering eyes. And like a drowning person, Jared needs to feel Jensen, needs to feel that they're good, that they are still together. They never break eye contact when Jared crawls over Jensen’s lap. With one smooth move, he gets rid of the towel. Jensen’s hands wander over his naked body. Touches him everywhere his hands can reach. The kiss is rough, passionate, as Jensen presses Jared's body down onto his already half-hard dick. Rolls his hips to increase the pressure. Jared moans into Jensen`s mouth. Jensen clasps Jared's dick, stroking him with one hand. He bites into Jared's jaw, slowly moving down his neck until Jared throws back his head and groans. Jensen increases the pressure on Jared's dick, his lips sucking on Jareds nipple, biting them red. Jared feels like he's on fire, he just needs this rawness. Jensen`s clothes rubbing on his ass and his inner thighs, he feels Jensen’s cock throbbing through his jeans, begging for release. He sits up, his hands working on Jensen's zipper until he can reach inside, finding Jensen’s cock and freeing him. The moment he wants to pump, Jensen pulls his hand away. Hot passion-filled eyes tell him to stop. So he leans back again. His arms back on the coffee table to support his weight and he spreads his legs for Jensen, opens up for him to get used like Jensen wants him. Jensen still pumps Jared's dick, his other hand moving down, softly kneading his balls until he just slides over Jared’s hole, then back to his balls in a steady rhythm. Jared's breath heavy, he closes his eyes. He is close, so close. Jensen kneads just the head of his cock, his thumb pressing down on his slit , precome bubbling on the tip. His finger breeches the tight muscle around Jared`s puckering hole. Just one finger, just one knuckle, not to hurt him, but to feel the sensation of Jensen's finger moving inside him. _

_ Jared's legs are shaking, he feels the climax, feels his balls tighten and his mouth falls open. He screams Jensen`s name when he comes, shooting rope by rope into Jensen`s hand. His cheeks are red when he finally opens his eyes. He looks down between them. Jensen’s hard cock, twitching , precome leaking out of it, and his own come dripping from Jensen`s hand . He looks back into Jensen's eyes, dark, full of lust, and he leans his upper body down onto the table, his hands under his knees and spreads himself wide open for his lover. „Fuck me.“ Jensen slides down the couch beneath Jared’s legs, wanting to wiggle himself out of his clothes, but Jared just shakes his head. „No, like this, just fuck me, please“. _

_ Jared feels fingers wandering over his hole, slick from his own come. Pressing inside of him, marking him, claiming him. One, two, three fingers pounding into him. Then he is being lifted up. Surprised by the sudden movement, he gasps, but he doesn’t fight. Jensen manhandles him down to the carpet on his arms and legs, lifts his ass into the air. Too fast, too dry, but it’s exactly what he wants, what he needs. And when Jensen pushes his pants down just enough and sinks his dick inside him, he feels full and complete. He hears Jensen’s moans behind him and his own dick starts to harden again. He wants to get fucked like this, wants to feel Jensen uncontrolled like this, lust washing over him, and Jensen increases the speed, pushing inside him with full force. Sweat is running down Jared's face, and he strokes his own cock fully hard again. They come together, Jared feels Jensen’s come shooting inside of him and that's what he needs to push him over the edge for the second time. The are out of breath, crashing down on the soft carpet. Laying on their backs.  _

_ Jensen is the first one able to stand up, and get them both something to clean themselves, before there are sitting back on the couch. Jensen takes off his pants and they snuggle up under the blanket. They sit close together, Jared's long legs over Jensen’s lap.They drink their coffee in silence, still coming down from their passionate sex. _

_ It`s Jensen who finally breaks the silence. _

_ „I hate this job, Jared. I fucking hate it so much.“ Jared stays silent, gives his boyfriend time to talk. He knows how much Jensen hates his boss. They couldn’t stand each other from the first day. They never found out what reason is. The „Gay thing, “ Jensen’s passion for his clients, or as Jared mentions, his extraordinary good looks. Mr. Donovan hates Jensen. And Jensen hates him. _

_ But this time was different, Jared could feel it. Something changed.  _

_ Jensen looks down at his mug, his fingertip running around the rim. _

_ „I got an offer…“ Jensen starts again and Jared suddenly understands where this is going .  _

_ „There is a small practice over in Laredo and they are looking for a new physiotherapist… It`s .. its a chance, you know..“ _

_ Jared gets silent. Of course it is. This is Jensen`s dream. His own practice. Being his own boss. He deserves it so much. Sure it will break his heart but he knew this day would come… he'll just have to let go even if it is going to kill him. _

_ „What do you think?“ Jenseńs voice is soft. He watches Jared from under his lids.  _

_ „This is your dream Jensen, I think you should take it.“ He watches his toes, doesn't dare to look up.  _

_ „No. I meant, is this … will this be okay for you?“ _

_ To leave you?? No of course not! Jared wants to scream, but he will not ruin this for Jensen. _

_ „This is the chance you have been working so hard for. You should take it. I mean it Jensen, you should do it.“ _

_ „And you're okay with moving?“ _

_ „Huh? Me?“ _

_ Jensen turns his whole body toward Jared.  _

_ „Are you..? Did you really think I would take this offer without you? Jared, look at me.“ _

_ He places his palm on Jared's cheek and makes him look at Jensen.  _

_ „Jared I will only take this offer under one condition. That you will come with me. _

_ I love you, you stupid asshole, how could you think I could leave you and the dogs behind?  _

_ „Did you just call me an asshole?“ _

_ „Stupid asshole, there is a difference.“ _

_ „I would have to give up my jobs here and the animal shelter." _

_ „I know.. I .. can you imagine.. you don't have to answer yet, but could you imagine working for me? I mean .. I need a receptionist, I mean, we could work together and I trust you.“ _

_ „Would I have to call you doctor?“ _

_ „I am not a doctor Jared.“ _

„Can _ I call you doctor?“ Jared wiggles his eyebrows.  _

_ „Only when we are alone.“ _

_ Jensen embraces Jared, pressing him down on the couch. _

_ „Is that a yes?“ _

_ Jared's fingers move over Jensen’s stubble beard. _

_ „ _ ** _You_ ** _ are my home Jensen, of course it's a yes.“ _

  
  
  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

When Jared regains consciousness he lies flat on his back. Light rain falls on his face. It’s quiet, way too quiet. He hears the roar of thunder from afar but apart from that, there’s no sound to be heard out loud. Slowly he sits up and looks around. In the distance he sees dark clouds which surround him like a circle. He's not at his house anymore. Across from him stands Paschar`s House. They are in the eye of the storm. Sun rays are bathing the house in a strange light. Jared`s getting up slowly. His head hurts. He looks out at the old weathered building and he knows what to do. 

Inside it's just as quiet. Only the ticking of a clock can be heard.

He strolls through the aisles, filled with memories. 

His own memories. 

Every piece on these shelves represents a connection to him. It’s his own life through which he walks. It should worry him, but he feels nothing but peace.

Paschar is waiting for him at the end of the aisle.

She looks at him lovingly and the door behind her seems so inviting. It shines warm and bright. But Jared stops in front of her instead of walking by.

„Hi Jared.“ She stretches out her hand to him.

„Would you like a cup of tea?“ she asks. 

„Yes, ma'am, I really would.“ he replies. 

They settle down at the small table that stands in a niche. The table is lavishly set with muffins, pastries, and a nice tea set. The familiar smell of cinnamon hit his nose . Like his Granny used to make it when he stayed overnight. Paschar fills their cups. It’s hot and Jared covers the tea cup with both hands. 

They tremble slightly.

„Pashar, am I dead ?“

That question shouldn’t pass over his lips so easily, but he doesn’t fear the answer anymore.

„Yes ..and no.“

Jared breathes deeply .

But then he looks up to her, confused.

„What do you mean?“

Paschar wipes off her spoon at the edge of her tea cup. 

„Your body is still alive.. kept alive by machines, so yes, your soul vessel is still intact…."

„But?“

„It’s complicated.. normally … you would be dead .. but … you won’t let go Jared.“

„So this here, all of this?“

„It’s your imagination. Yes. It is not real. You are trapped in your own memory.“

„Then who are you?“

„I told you.“

„No, who ARE you?“

She takes a sip from the cup and looks out into the darkness.

„I have many names.. savior, angel, rescuer.. but I prefer guide. I help lost souls find their way back home.“

She places the cup back on the coaster and takes Jared’s hand.

„It is time darling.“

Jared hears the rolling boom of thunder coming closer.

„This world is going to fall into pieces Jared, and when everything is consumed from the darkness, I can not guide you out of it. Honey, you have to let go.“

„I can’t!“ tears are forming in Jared's eyes.

„Why. What’s keeping you?“

„Not what.  _ Who _ .“

Jared looks into Paschar's blue eyes. 

„You remember him?“

„I remember everything.“

She leans back into her chair.

„Everything? Then you know why you are here?“

A single tear runs over Jareds cheek.

„Yes.“

  
  


_ Long legs are flying over the asphalt. Sweat is running down his neck. He listens to his breathing and watches the houses as he passes by. The rain gets heavier. Jared stops and looks up to the sky. It seems to never stop raining these days. Autumn paints the trees in shades of brown and the sky is gray with heavy clouds. He crosses Sapphire Road. He had hoped the fresh air would help him, but his mood is still bad.  _

_ Their fight was stupid, he knows that, but he just didn’t want to back down. _

_ It's their first day in their new home and they fight, shit. Jensen was so excited about the move. The U-Haul was packed and everything was organized. Jensen was already here the last two weeks, filling out applications, advertising for the grand opening, and furnishing the house. Jared worked till the last day. Saying goodbye to his shelter and his friends was the hardest part. They promised to keep in contact, but it was a nearly four hour drive, so he knew it would be difficult.  _

_ He and Jensen, they choose the home together. But every time Jared felt like it wasn't up to him to make any decisions. All in all this was Jensen's dream and he didn’t dare to disagree. When he finally reached their new home, Jensen was standing on the doorstep, proud, and with so much love in his eyes that Jared feels guilty again. Why can't he just be happy. Why does he have to question everything ?  _

_ So he gives Jensen a big fat smile and hugs him. They walk in together. Later Jensen went grocery shopping, leaving Jared behind to explore everything. He lets the dogs out and watches them playing. Yeah, he should have started unpacking the boxes but he just needed a little more time.  _

_ That’s when Jeff called. _

_ He just shouldn’t have taken the call. _

_ It was like always. Jeff's words were filled with sarcasm. He congratulated Jared for finally being the perfect little housewife. For wrapping Jensen around his finger and now he had a house and a good paying job, and he himself had contributed nothing to this. Until Jensen gets bored of him and then Jared will become the same little loser he always has been.  _

_ In the end Jared couldn’t even remember how they ended the call. He just kept staring at the dogs laying on the freshly mown grass. He couldn’t even cry. He felt nothing. _

_ He was in the same spot when Jensen got home, placing the two brown bags on the kitchen sink.  _

_ „Jared, where are you?“ _

_ Jared sighs and steps inside the house. _

_ Jensen fills the fridge with milk and juice. He bought some dog food and some fruits. While unpacking he looks at Jared from the side. _

_ „What have you done this whole time?“ _

_ „Nothing.“ _

_ „Nothing? I really thought you would have started unpacking.“ _

_ „Yeah i just needed some time.“ _

_ Jensen opens the cupboard and puts some cans inside. _

_ „Tell me you at least hung up the mirror.“ _

_ „What?“ _

_ „The.. Jared really? I have already attached the dowel. All I was asking you was to get the damn mirror out of the way and hang it up before someone fell over it.“ _

_ „You mean before I fell over it.„ _

_ „I didn’t say that, Jay what’s wrong with you?“ _

_ „Yeah, you didn’t say it, but it’s exactly what you think, right? That I am so clumsy that I would slip and break your precious mirror.“ _

_ He was angry, he was just so angry. _

„My _ mirror? We decided together to get it. You said you love it. “ _

_ „As if it means something if I like it or not. You paid for it, so it was fine. You didn't need my agreement.“ _

_ „What?? Are you..what the fuck is wrong with you?“ _

_ „I don’t know okay?! I just .. I need some air.“ _

_ „Where are you going?“ _

_ „Wherever I want okay? I am a grown up person. I can go the fuck out whenever I want to go out. Get used to the city I am living in from now on for example.“ _

_ He regrets the words the moment they leave his lips. The hurt in Jensen's eyes, it was the worst look he'd ever seen and his heart hurts like hell. But damn, he is hurt too, and he's just too stubborn to admit it. He gets his phone and wallet and is out of there in a heartbeat. _

_ And now he is standing here. Too afraid to go home and face the second round of arguing. He should have told Jensen about the phone call. Jensen couldn’t stand Jeff and he always told him that Jeff is just jealous because his own relationships never worked.  _

_ When Jared saw the lights in the little pub at the end of the street he hesitates for a moment, but then decides to step inside. _

_ The pub was nearly empty, with just two men sitting at the counter watching the game. He walks over and takes a seat on one of the stools. _

_ The two men watch him and salute with their beer. _

_ Jared orders a beer as well and looks up to the TV. _

_ Cowboys are playing against the Giants. He wanted to watch the game with Jensen and just the thought of Jensen sitting alone back home feels like a stab in the heart.  _

_ In the end the Cowboys win and the three of them stay a little bit longer talking about the game. When Dave and Andrew introduced themselves and Jared tells them his name, Dave looks over to Andrew. „Told you, it's Jensen's boy!“  _

_ Jared looks at both of them in confusion. _

_ „Wait what?“ _

_ „It fits, tall, long hair, funny and what does he call his eyes, hazelnut?“ _

_ „Hazel idiot.“ _

_ „Yeah whatever. See this is a small nest, everyone knows everyone and we take care of each other so when the new doc shows up..“ _

_ „He is not a Doctor Dave.“ _

_ „Shut up Andrew. I can call him what I want. Anyway well he introduced himself. And you know the women, one look at him and they were freaking out.“ _

_ Jared blushed, feeling his cheeks getting hot. _

_ „He talked about me?“ _

_ „It was more like when did he not talked about you. It’s more like, Jared does this, Jared loves that, wait till you met him, he is gorgeous and compassionate and what did he ask Jennifer?“ _

_ „He asked for an animal shelter, because back home you volunteered there and he wants you to feel more like home.“ _

_ „Yeah that was it! You know Jared, I am 54 and I'll be honest with you. I dont give a shit about this whole men loving men, girls loving girls, modern ways. Do what you want. Hell, just don't give me details. . I've been married for 26 years. But you know what. This man, Jesus, this man loves you from the bottom of his heart and in the end, that's all that matters. Am I right Andrew ?“ _

_ „Yeah whatever.“ _

_ Jared feels like shit. He knows all this, hell he knows how much Jensen loves him and how much he loves Jensen. Why can't he just let go and believe in himself?  _

_ He is such a fool. _

_ He jumps up from his stool, his phone in his hand already. _

_ „Andrew, Dave, it was a pleasure and the next round is on me but, I have to go home now.“ _

_ Dave looks at him and smiles wisely „Yeah boy! You better.“ _

_ Jared runs outside the pub, his phone already dialing Jensen's number. „Pick up! Pick up!“ He runs down Stanley Road then turns left onto Sapphire Road. Damn it. He opens his messenger app and starts to text : I’m stupid and so fucking sorry. You are the best thing in my life that ever ha….  _

_ The car hit him out of nowhere. He hits the ground hard. His head bangs on the asphalt, his phone slipping out of his hand. Jensen, he thought, I must go home, no, I must go home.. _

_ Someone is screaming for 911, he hears someone approaching, someone crying „I swear the light was green, I swear.“ It doesn’t matter, nothing matters, he just needs to go home... _

  
  
  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

„He never received my message." Jared`s gaze goes into the void.

„He will never know that I am sorry. Those words I said to him, my last words and he will never know how much I regret them.“ Panic lies in his voice and he jumps up from his chair.

„Paschar I can't go, I just can't !“

Paschar rises up from her chair as well. She steps in front of Jared and places both of her hands on his arms.

„Jared I know it is hard to let go sometimes. But I think he knows. You have to find your peace darling. There's nothing wrong with choosing, and there will never be a right time to leave. But your time Jared has come.“

Jared twitches as a bright flash appears outside the house, followed by a deep rumble.

„No, you don't understand, Paschar. I don't give him up. I don't give us up!“ 

Jared takes both of her wrists in his hand.

„You told me you are my guide, right .. and .. and you said you would guide me home right, so Jensen IS my home. Please Paschar please help me!“

„There is no way out there for you, just you getting lost and mad for all eternity.

Darling it's too late. Look outside, Jared, there is nothing left.“

Out of the window everything lies in complete darkness, just interrupted by the lightning of the storm.

„The mirror!“

„What?“

„I have to go back to the mirror and I have to reach for him. I was so close it was like I felt something changing but I got distracted, like this world doesn’t want to let me go.“

Paschar walks over to the window.

„I shouldn’t tell you this but...See I know every single piece in this house you create, every memory you keep, but you know what… there was never a mirror. It must have appeared the moment you came in. Like…“

„Like it's from him. Paschar, this  _ is _ a connection! It’s a way to reach Jensen. Hell you even told me to reach for him, or not!

„But I thought it didn’t work.“

„No it did! It worked Paschar, he talked to me!“

„He talked to you?“ Paschar's eyes go wide.

„Well in a way. He told me to open my eyes, see he looked at me, he looked into my eyes and told me to come back!

Paschar covers her mouth with her palm. Jared could feel her conflict. She looked back at the door inside the house. And then back to Jared.

„It`s .. I can't believe he reached you, you really seem to have a very special bond. 

Do you know how rare that is..?“

Her comment just strengthens Jared in his opinion.

„That's it, I have to go back.“

„Jared you will never find the way back.“

„I have to try Paschar, I have to! He is the love of my life! And I will find my way back to him. So you can help me or not, but I will get out of this house!“

Paschar places her palms on Jared's cheeks. 

„Damn boy, don't give me that look!“

Jared smiles softly. 

„Jensen calls it puppy eyes. Works every time.“

She draws him to her and kisses his forehead.

„I believe in you Jared, but you really need to hurry.“

„Can’t you come with me?“ Jared asks.

„No, I am stuck to this place. When you don't make it back, this door will bring me home. And it is still an option for you!“

„It never was Paschar.“

„I see that now...wait!“

Paschar turns around, filled with energy .

„There is one thing i can do!“

She takes Jared's hand and leads him to the shelves filled with his memories .

„Pick one!“

„What?“ Jared looks confusedly around him. 

„Pick one item, one memory that fills your heart with so much joy, with so much happiness that it will lead you through the darkness!“

„How should I choose? Paschar, there are hundreds of memories. How do I know which is the right one?“

„You will Jared, but don't waste any more time.“

Jared walks through the house, aisle by aisle, and tries to choose the right item, the one item that brings him joy. He looks at teddy bears, cassettes, a dollar bill from his first job, Sadie's first collar and he remembers how desperately Jensen tries to..

Suddenly he stops. 

“That's it!“

His eyes look at every corner, every place . He knows exactly what he was looking for.

And then he sees it.

And his heart warms.

Carefully he picks the small fragile item out of a basket.

It was a simple heart, crafted out of two straws.

It was their first date. Back at the sports bar. And while they talked and talked, Jensen was so distracted he grabbed his and Jared's straw from his spiced Coke. And suddenly he formed a heart. When he was done he placed the heart between them. The tips of Jensen's ears were red and he was obviously embarrassed. But for Jared, this small thing was the beginning of everything. He kept it with him, in his wallet from this day on, and he never lost it. He has it with him when..

Pascha looks at the plastic heart and then back to Jared. 

„It's perfect!“ she smiles and hugs Jared one last time.

„I believe in you Jared. So have faith in yourself. And in this bond between you and Jensen. He will guide you now.“

Jared hugs her back, and with one deep breath he steps out of the door into the darkness.

Darkness envelops him. Wind and rain whips in his face. It's cold, so cold, but he never stops walking, sometimes even running. The world around him is falling apart. When the lightning of the thunderstorms illuminates the sky, he sees tornados in the distance. He fought against the wind, blowing so strong against him that he nearly can’t walk. But he can't stop, he won't stop. Branches are flying around trying to hit him, but he avoids them. He is sure that he is turning on to his street when the wind seems to form words. More and more he hears words whispered into his ears.  _ He doesn’t want you… you will never make it… _ Jared shakes his head, tries to ignore the words, tries to see where he steps but it’s dark, so dark.. _ this is all your fault Jared.  _

„No!“ he screams the word against the wind.His fist is clinging around the plastic heart. It feels warm in his hand and and it gives him confidence. One step after another he fights against the storm. Rain batters his skin, but he ignores it. He needs to go back home. 

_ You really believe he wants a loser like you?  _ The voice is laughing and it hurts so much.  _ He did everything for you and what did he get?  _ Please stop, please stop. Where is his house, it must be here!  _ You will never make it, you don't want to go home! Stay here! _

His knees give in and he sinks down on the street. Wind is tossing his hair, blowing from all directions. His face is soaking wet from rain and tears. 

He will never make it. 

He will fail. 

He presses his closed fist to his chest, over his heart. He needs to fight. Stay awake! 

Where is he? He opens his eyes but he can't see, panic rises inside him. 

Why is he here? He hears the shatter of roof tiles behind him. 

Who is he? He doesn’t know.

Warmth slowly spreads in his chest. He looks down and his fist seems to glow. A warm, golden light is shining. And he feels his hand throbbing like a pulse. A pulse that fills him with peace, with affection, with love. The light spreads up over his arm, his shoulders, his whole body. Slowly he stands up. He doesn’t feel the rain anymore. He hears the wind raging, angry and trying to reach for Jared, but its like he stands in a cocoon of warmth and light. He opens his eyes again and as if a curtain is lifted, he perceives the outline of his house. The wind fights against massive walls. Jared notices cracks in the bricks, nearly every window is broken. But he walks toward the front door, because inside Jensen is waiting for him. 

He runs the last few steps, and again branches and tiles try to hit him. With one last effort he reaches the door, steps inside and rests a moment against the door. He hears the rattle of the roof. The wind leaking inside through the broken window. The boxes are tipped over and their contents are laying on the floor.

Slowly he opens his fist. The heart is glimmering. He made it. He made it back. With insecure steps, he walks to the bathroom. 

It's dark inside but the moment he reaches the mirror the heart is shining again. Like a candle and Jared sees his own reflection looking back at him. He places his free hand against the cold mirror. „Jensen?“ His voice is hoarse. And his heart starts to beat loudly. The crack in the mirror is getting worse. Is he too late? A loud crash from above lets him know that the roof has given in. The wind takes it down piece by piece.

„Jensen!!“ He screams against the mirror.

„Please help me!“ He presses his flat palm against the mirror.

„Please Jensen I love you!“

_ Open your eyes _

He feels Jensen words rushing over him, but when he opens his eyes, no one is there. Panic rises and the storm is right above him, he hears the door shatter..

_ Open your eyes _

He  _ has _ to do this. 

He  _ has _ to fight. 

He  _ wants _ to go home. 

Jared ignores everything around him, he needs to go back… he can't hear the storm anymore ..he feels like he is leaving the ground. 

He  _ wants _ to wake up. 

His hand on the mirror feels warm. It's like the mirror has become liquid, like he can reach through it. He pushes his hand through the mirror, which gives way under the pressure until his hand finds something new. 

Warm skin, fingertips connecting with his.

A hand.

He reaches out further until his hand connects with the other hand.

And he grasps it.

And never lets go.

Jared opens his eyes.

And the greenest, warmest eyes he ever remembers look back at him.

He is home.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


„

**Author's Note:**

> So, i really hope you enjoyed my Story.  
If so please be so kind and leave some Kudos or maybe a comment . I love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading my story and please visit amberdreams Site . Without her amazing prompt, this story won’t exist ❤️


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